My name is Melanie and God wrecked my dreams.
It started as a nudge a few days into my first mission trip to Nicaragua in early 2013. There I was, one semester away from graduating college and fulfilling my dream of becoming a teacher, and all of a sudden I felt drawn to pursue mission work. It seemed absurd. “Me…a missionary? Ha!,” I thought, “Who am I that God would choose me to lead others to Christ through mission work?” I’m sure God laughed in that moment – because He had other plans. As the year progressed, I traded in my student ID for graduation robes, and later, for the keys to my own classroom. But the feeling that maybe God had bigger plans for me never left. And soon enough that nudge became a murmur. By the time spring break rolled around and I found myself once again serving in rural Nicaragua, it was a steady pulsing in my heart, a knowledge of what I was supposed to do, and a desire to do it.
Still, I resisted. I didn’t want to make this discernment process about me; I wanted instead to focus on what God was calling me to do. But I could not make up my mind. Was this a call from God to serve as a missionary? Or were the signs I thought I was seeing the results of wishful thinking? Weeks turned into months and still I felt unsure. I knew I wanted to serve as a missionary, but I also knew exactly when, where, and how I wanted to serve. I failed to trust in God’s plan for me, and I began to make my own plans. Then God stopped me in my tracks. The opportunity that I chose to pursue that I was so sure was the one for me did not pan out. And I wondered if maybe I wasn’t worthy of the call to serve as a missionary after all. But God had other plans.
You see, God wrecked my dreams to show me His. And His dreams for me are greater than anything I could imagine.
But God works in His timing – not mine. And it was not until the beginning of 2015 that He began to illuminate my path. As I cautiously began to scatter bread, looking into possible opportunities to serve as a missionary, God put Farm of the Child on my radar through a friend who casually mentioned that it was an organization worth checking out. Then my Heavenly Father introduced me to a Former Farm Missionary in a seemingly coincidental encounter. God made it clear from the beginning that He was driving this bus; His hand was present in even the smallest details.
As the doors began to open, God also opened my heart to hear His call to serve and to trust in His plans for me. By the time I was offered a position with Farm of the Child, God had placed no doubt in my mind that this was where He was calling me to serve. All that was left was to give Him my sí. And despite my fears, God gave me the courage to step out of the boat and into the middle of His will for me. I accepted the position and began my preparations for this journey.
I could not be more thrilled to embark on this adventure of love and to dedicate my life to the serving others in gratitude for Christ’s sacrifice for me. I am so humbled that God would allow me to play even a small role in the writing of His story in Honduras. The chance to pour myself out in love as I serve in the littlest of ways makes my heart sing with joy. I cannot wait to see how God will work in me and through me as I experience the joys and challenges of life at the Farm. I can only pray that God would grant me humility, patience, and the courage to choose each day to live for Him. And above all, it is my prayer that He might make me always ready to love.